It’s the most wonderful time of the year… right? Christmas and the holiday period can bring with it all the joy of the season, but the stress and expectations that come with it don’t always leave us feeling very ‘festive.’ At Psyche Mental Health Centre we know how stressful the holidays can be, so we have put together a few ways that you can support yourself through this busy time!
Set limits and expectations
Over the holiday period we tend to have a lot more engagements to attend. We schedule them in, making sure that we don’t miss the work Christmas dinner, followed by the cousins family brunch. Some people are methodical in pencilling in their next event, other times we rely on memory alone to take us to the right place at the right time. If you fall into the ‘let’s hope I remember’ category – take a mental load off and write it all down!
While you’re at it, remember to pencil in and protect some alone time as well. The kids are in bed – time to make yourself a nice cup of tea and put on your favourite show. Have 20 minutes between the end of work, and your Christmas function – why not take a walk? We often tend to schedule in commitments that relate to other people but forget to schedule in self-care, and time for ourselves. Have a look through your holiday calendar and see if you see any gaps you can schedule for yourself!
If you have certain topics that are off the table this holiday season – here are some quick tips for navigating these conversations.
1. Start with “I feel statements” – this can sometimes help avoid activating people’s defensive responses. Try saying how you feel, explain the situation, and how it can be improved next time! “I feel upset, when you bring up my children’s school performance, can you please talk to me about this when it is just us and they aren’t listening.”
2. If this is a recurring theme, try to set expectations in advance.
3. Set consequences for not respecting your boundaries. Let them know that if your boundaries aren’t respected, they may not be able to attend the boxing day party, or you won’t be able to see them on New Year’s Eve.
4. Take a break – setting boundaries and expectations can be hard! Work out how you can take care of yourself after having tough conversations.
Self-care
How do you recharge? Do you like spending time with your support network chatting about your day? Or would you prefer to spend some time curled up on the couch with a good book? At times the idea of ‘self-care’ may seem overwhelming, but the key part to remember is that self-care should be tailored to you. It’s not always about face masks and candles (but that sure can be nice too!) Take an extra minute to make the bed before you leave, so you can enjoy it when you come home. Try doing the dishes directly after a meal so when you wake up the next morning you have a nice tidy kitchen. Or on the other hand, it might be leaving the dishes for tonight in exchange for some extra sleep. Check in and ask yourself “what is going to help me now, and moving forward?”
Don’t abandon health habits
If you are someone who goes for a walk of an evening to manage your stress, don’t let this health habit slip away over the holidays. When we are stressed and our time is spread more thinly than usual, there is the tendency to abandon certain things that we do to support ourselves. However, when you are racing through the supermarket trying to find the last Christmas ham or finding a parking spot to grab that last-minute Christmas gift, if anything you need these strategies to support you now more than ever! Even if your 30-minute walk becomes 15-minutes, or your yoga class you attend becomes a YouTube Yoga tutorial do your best to continue to engage in the things that help support you.
Accept that this isn’t the time of year for perfection!
Does that present wrapping look a little wonky? How lucky is the recipient that you took the time to do it yourself! Does the tree look a little lobsided? We like our trees with a bit of character! Did you buy the fruit cake instead of making it yourself? We hope that left you with time to do something for yourself (plus some fruitcake sales support organisation to help others!) The Hallmark Christmas movies have done us a bit of a disservice. The biggest tree, the perfect presents and the most wonderful family gathering are all images that we have grown to associate with the holidays – but they just aren’t realistic. Amongst all the marketing and branding this festive season, try to remember that you are not alone, and no holiday gather is as perfect as we perceive it to be!
From of us at Psyche Mental Health Centre - Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and above all take care!
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